safeword:

what is up w/ up guys and your maymay beef

like do i serious have to add ‘yes i know he’s shitty but respecting many of his ideas and tools doesn’t mean respecting him’ to my faq

why are you messaging me about this and not the person who mentioned his name in their post that i reblogged? i have no idea why once a month everyone feels the need to inform me that he’s shitty………………… i know…. i very purposefully don’t follow or reblog from him personally so nothing triggering in his tone should apprea on your dashes because of me, so if u don’t wanna see him even mentioned in passing them just blacklist his name and then u won’t have to….. that’s all….

:) So, what is up with the bitter BDSM’er brigade's personal beef with me?

I’ll give you a hint: it has to do with the fact that they have literally no response to the content of my arguments. They don’t even have a response to my soundbites, for fuck’s sake. Because, like it or not, I actually understand their relationship to BDSM better than they understand it themselves.

And, like most people, since their only functional retort is ad-hominen, they’re going to respond to the source of a message rather than the merits of it—even if they say that that’s not what they’re doing.

Anyway, I look forward to many years in which I continue to show BDSM’ers just how much like wanna-be (and, in many cases, actual) rapists they really are. :)

P.S. I use “they,” not “he” gender pronouns, Izzy. Remember, I see everything.


This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

Anonymous asked:

Hi, what was the name of that web app or extension that lets you see if people who message you have been reported as potential rapists or otherwise dangerous? I'd really like to use it but I forgot the name. That post about the guy with the curling iron really scares me.

okcreepsters:

I think what you’re talking about is the Predator Alert Tool for OKC, which is available here. There’s also a good how-to guide here, for easier installation.

Other great resources for OKC users that I’ve come across include:

  • OkCupid (for the Non-Mainstream User) is a Google Chrome extension that makes browsing profiles infinitely easier and faster.
  • okcreeper.me is a website that lets you look at the basics of someone’s OKC profile without visiting them through OKC. You can’t see their questions, but you can see most everything else.
  • OkCupid’s instant messaging settings - Most people don’t know that there are ways to filter incoming instant messages because they don’t have any link to it, but they do exist. You just have to type in the url manually.
  • CreepShield - An online facial recognition tool that can identify if a potential date is a registered sex offender.
  • Kitestring - An automated text messaging service that will alert authorities and emergency contacts if you go missing.

Best of luck out there! Stay safe.

- S

:) I’m just gonna put this here.


This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay
You see the pattern, folks? When someone says giving rape survivors communication tools is bad, that’s evidence that they’re not supportive of rape survivors communicating. Predator Alert Tool (PAT) elicits such outpourings of rape apologia. So all we need to do is let apologists self-incriminate themselves as apologists by letting them say those things. We then document that interaction & add them to a PAT database. Since the purpose of PAT is to support sexual violence survivors, ID’ing which people don’t support survivors having tools is, well, the point.

An excerpt from this Facebook discussion.

A side point I, personally, like to make is how the most vocal objection to Predator Alert Tool comes from BDSM’ers betrays the rape apologia on which BDSM is rooted.

Learn more about Predator Alert Tool:


This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

What happened to Predator Alert Tool for FetLife?

This post is a brief update in Q&A form to address the most common questions I’m getting about the Predator Alert Tool for FetLife service disruption.

Why can’t I share information about a sexual assault that a FetLife user committed?

Due to a deliberate and sustained denial-of-service attack by a FetLife user, the PAT-FetLife reporting mechanism is unavailable. Please see my prior post for more details about this attack.

Who is behind this attack?

The attacker is not shy. She boasts about her actions on the BDSM/leather/kink dating website FetLife.com, where she goes by the username CarolyneTiler. Her legal identity is Caroline Tyler, a resident of Bradford, West Yorkshire in the UK.

Caroline Tyler’s contact information is collated on Pastie.

Whom does this attack harm?

The people whom Caroline Tyler is harming with her denial-of-service attack against Predator Alert Tool for FetLife are the people relying on PAT-FetLife as a way of communicating about dangerous people inside the kink/BDSM community.

Caroline Tyler’s motivations to attack PAT-Fetlife seem, at least in part, to be personally directed at me. However, attacking PAT-FetLife doesn’t harm me in any way. (I don’t use FetLife.) It harms people who want to remain involved in FetLife but who also want to have access to uncensored information about potential play partners. This kind of peer-to-peer reputation system (like “Yelp for BDSMers”), is something FetLife users have been requesting for years and that FetLife still refuses to provide.

If you’re worried about these attacks against PAT-FetLife hurting someone, it’s not me; it’s ethical kinksters on FetLife you should be worried about.

What can we do to deal with this attack?

In response to this attack against Predator Alert Tool, a number of people have expressed interest in helping to support sexual violence survivors by assisting the Predator Alert Tool project in both the short and the long term, with respect to this specific attack and to attacks in general.

For the short term, with respect to this specific attack

As stated in my prior post, there are a number of things we have done and can still do:

The obvious thing to do in a case like this is to document what happened and then write reports about the people responsible linking to said documentation in the very tools they attacked. I’ve already done that for CarolyneTiler and everyone who metaphorically high-fived her effort. You can view the reports in PAT-FetLife just as you would any other report. And I’ve taken the additional step of writing a statement in Predator Alert Tool for Facebook about Anna Brecht, as well, linking to this post, since she was kind enough to give me her Facebook account, too.

Of course, feel free to follow any of the links in this post to the attackers’ conversations [and contact information] and chime in, yourself. In fact, I’d strongly encourage that. Remind these attackers that trying to take down what is still the only warning tool for rape survivors on FetLife is a shitty way for supposed advocates of a “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” so-called “lifestyle” to behave.

Additionally, as a user on Facebook said:

Hey, EMIS [Caroline Tyler’s employer] is a company that does stuff with computers related to health, and rape is a public health issue, so having an employee using their computer skills to attempt to destroy an anti-rape program is the exact opposite of what they say they stand for.

I responded:

That’s very true. Probably worth bringing up with their HR department. You can probably find out who their HR employees are by searching LinkedIn for that information.

For the long term, with respect to attacks in general

A technological response is needed, too. PAT-FetLife was a prototype I created in 6 hours one night a couple years ago. Since then, I’ve built numerous additional versions of Predator Alert Tool (for OkCupid, for Facebook, etc.) that work differently in order to try out new models and technologies. Ultimately, the goal is for it to function as an Internet-scale reputation system that resists rape culture. That’s a hard problem because rape culture can’t be solved with code alone; we need a sociocultural response (see above, “with respect to this specific attack”) and we need a sociotechnical response.

Thanks to this latest attack, several extremely capable technologists have contacted me expressing interest in Predator Alert Tool and have suggested several promising design alternatives built on decentralized autonomous organizations (DAO). You can follow the conversation on Twitter.

Since I am only one person (who lives in a car and whose primary income is donations), I do not have the financial, emotional, or social resources to do all of the above on my own. As I mentioned on Facebook:

I’ll follow up any leads I have, but my time is much better spent devising a more resilient technological response to this [general issue, rather than this specific attack], because empirically speaking that’s the one thing I have been doing that [most] other people describe being unable to do. However, I am still just one person. My time and energy is limited. Your participation and collaboration is appreciated and needed.

Again, a number of people have already begun collaborating on that work. I will be happy to put anyone who contacts me directly in touch with one another so that you can coordinate those tasks and work more effectively together.

When will the PAT-FetLife reporting mechanism be available again?

After Caroline Tyler’s first attack, I re-enabled PAT-FetLife. The next day, she again attacked the reporting form. This shows a deliberate intent to keep sexual violence survivors from accessing tools they use to communicate.

Unfortunately, also as discussed in my prior post, there is currently no technological way to prevent Caroline Tyler from continuing to make the PAT-FetLife reporting service unavailable. That’s why people are currently composing complaint letters to her employer and why I’ve asked for legal representation.

Adding new information to PAT-FetLife will therefore only be possible when at least one of the following happens:

  • Google Forms updates the PAT-FetLife back-end to their “new” Google Spreadsheets system. The timeline they provided for this is “in 2014,” so that could be a few months yet.
  • Caroline Tyler stops launching her denial-of-service attack on PAT-FetLife, either by her own choice or by being compelled to stop through social, legal, or other pressure.
  • A new version of Predator Alert Tool for FetLife based on the DAO technology I am currently exploring (mentioned above) is ready.

This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

The fact that we share blood ancestry is a fact that has the same meaning to me as the fact that we both have a left hand. It just so happens that since we share blood ancestry, other people in my life (our fathers, mostly) decided for some insane reason that this “meant something important,” so despite living on opposite sides of the planet, we’ve met in person once or twice because they wanted us to. And, since we were children, they had enough power over us to ensure this happened weather we wanted to or not.

The idea that our shared blood ancestry means I “should love you unconditionally because you’re family” is LITERALLY INSANE. Just because someone in your life told you that that’s an important thing doesn’t actually make it important. Moreover, constantly being told what is important to you by other people is called brainwashing.

That’s relevant to this conversation about Israel/Palestine because this uncritical behavior is the EXACT SAME INSANITY that leads people to believe that things like a “nation” are real. They’re not. Countries aren’t real. They are IMAGINED. That’s why they’re called “imaginary communities.”

People who behave as though their imaginary friends are real are called insane. But for some reason (namely, to maintain social and political control over masses of people), people who behave as though the imaginary community of their *country* is real are called “patriotic.”

That’s fucked up and leads to situations like the one we’re arguing about, #GazaUnderAttack, in which children are getting killed by laser-guided bombs for no good reason. And rather than questioning that, the fact that you SUPPORT this insanity is why I find you disgusting. The fact that we share blood ancestry doesn’t change this analysis. Because that would be INSANE.

Why is this so hard to understand?

In which I compare my Zionist cousins to Nazi fascists on Facebook.

This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

If you're trying to hurt me by taking down PAT-FetLife, you missed your target & harmed FetLife users instead.

maymay:

Yesterday, I published “Why attacking Predator Alert Tools backfire on attackers.” The gist (short, worth reading) is at this link.

Today, an important update:

On July 20th, 2014 at 3:53 AM Pacific time, a renewed attack of the exact same type described above resumed. Once again, CarolyneTiler, whose legal name is Caroline Tyler and who currently works for EMIS, a medical software company, as an “IT Systems Support Consultant” in the United Kingdom according to her LinkedIn profile (public version), admitted to doing this on FetLife:

Screenshot of CarolyneTiler's comments in a FetLife status thread reading: "I have done NOTHING more than use the public access available to all. I consider that this so called reporting tool is mainly used to harass and abuse other members of this site by those too cowardly to publicly state their issues."

Screenshot of CarolyneTiler’s comments in a FetLife status thread reading: “I have done NOTHING more than use the public access available to all. I consider that this so called reporting tool is mainly used to harass and abuse other members of this site by those too cowardly to publicly state their issues.”

As of this writing, I’ve temporarily disabled the Predator Alert Tool for FetLife’s Google form submission while I compose complaint letters to Caroline’s employer and Internet Service Provider. I am also looking for pro-bono legal representation from attorneys who have a record supporting sexual assault survivor’s rights. Please contact me directly if you know or can refer me to any such legal professionals.

I’ll re-enable the PAT-FetLife reporting mechanism after I’ve finished getting in touch with Caroline Tyler’s employer, etc., and I’ll post another update once I’ve done that. If I can get in touch with a lawyer, I’ll also do my best to contact England’s law enforcement agencies that oversee Internet crimes, so ideally this lawyer would also be at least familiar with “hacking” cases.

Thank you.

Please reblog/retweet/share widely.

Thanks so much for your help!

Okay, I have to add a thing to this. I am suddenly getting many kind well-wishes expressing sympathy for me for “dealing with these fuckwits.” That’s very nice, but it’s mostly misguided.

Listen: I’ll be fine. Attacks against PAT-FetLife don’t affect me. I don’t use FetLife, remember?

The people who Anna Brecht and Caroline Tyler are harming with their denial-of-service attack against Predator Alert Tool for FetLife are the people relying on PAT-FetLife as a way of communicating about dangerous people inside the kink/BDSM community.

Attacking PAT-FetLife doesn’t harm me in any way. It harms people who want to be in one way or another involved in FetLife but who also want to have access to an uncensored peer-to-peer reputation system (like “Yelp for play partners”), something that FetLife (still) refuses to provide.

If you’re worried about this DOS against PAT-FetLife hurting someone, it’s ethical kinksters on FetLife you should be worried about. Not me. Don’t forget that.

That said, your supportive sentiments are very much appreciated. <3 to you all!


This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

On the methods to my madness

dearcoquette:

Ugh coke, what happened to you? you used to be witty and funny in your cynicism. now you just sound like a jaded old dried out cunt whose lost her thunder.


I was never a cynic, fucknuts. There just happened to be a moment when you and I disliked the same things, and during that time you thought my writing was witty and funny.

Now that we don’t dislike the same things anymore — or more likely, we happen to disagree on one particular issue — I’m suddenly a “jaded old dried out cunt whose [sic] lost her thunder.” How convenient. (Keep reaching for those clichés, by the way.)

Over the past five years, I’ve grown very in tune with the cyclical nature of both building and maintaining a large base of readers. Most people think growing an audience is a steady upward climb. It’s not. The metrics are far more fascinating than that. What actually happens is that you gain readers in discrete bursts and you lose readers in discrete bursts. It’s an elaborate wave function.

Folks who pay attention to this stuff are usually satisfied to gain as many readers as they can during a positive burst and lose as few readers as they can during a negative burst, thus ensuring the maximum readership over time.

This type of behavior consists of two basic public relations postures that are fairly easy to spot. During positive bursts, the posture is one of relentless self-promotion followed by repetition of whatever gained popularity (otherwise known as “publicity.”) During negative bursts, the posture is one of apologetic self-flagellation followed by relative silence (otherwise known as “damage control.”)

So yeah, aside from the consistent output of quality content, the only trick to engaging your largest possible audience is knowing when to say, “Look at me!” and when to say, “I’m sorry.” (I’m not going to discuss deliberate attempts to gain readers in discrete bursts. That’s called marketing, and paying for it is called advertising. Either way, it’s artificial growth, and people can tell when you’re doing it.)

Now, I bring all this up, because while most people who do this kind of thing are interested in building the largest possible readership, that’s not always the goal. It’s certainly not why I do what I do here. Sure, I love having a large audience, but large is not the same thing as wide. I’m much more interested in keeping the right readers over time than I am in keeping the most readers over time.

The trick to doing this is in my ability to spot the negative bursts as they happen and then use them to my advantage. Case in point: Yesterday, I dashed off an angry response that ended with, "You should kill yourself."

Despite the fact that I was being sarcastic in the face of outrageous misogyny, I immediately felt the initial rumblings of a negative burst. (So be it. You can’t control when these things happen, but I do find it hilarious that no one seems to remember that I ran an entire side-blog called “Just Kill Yourself” back in the Dear Coke Talk days.)

If my goal had been to maintain maximum readership, I simply would have replaced the, “You should kill yourself” line with, “I hope you die in a fire.” (This in itself would have been a subtle dig at the silly whims of political correctness, because while it may be fashionable to scold people for joking about suicide, no one gives a shit about the delicate sensibilities of burn victims.)

I abhor political correctness, and tumblr is awash in hashtag activists and social justice warriors who take immense delight in their duties as semiprofessional finger waggers. Those are exactly the kind of people I don’t want hanging around, so later that afternoon, I loaded the top three answers of a fun-sized advice with incendiary language to provoke a deliberate response. Right on cue, my inbox fills up with whiny self-righteousness. I picked the submission that best represented a certain type of person, and then crafted an ad hominem attack specifically designed to personally offend that certain type of person.

It worked. It always works. (If you’ve read this far, you’re probably a regular reader, and you can remember any number of occasions when I left my ring on during a bitch slap.) Point is, I’d much rather have a say in the type of readers I lose when it inevitably comes time to lose them. I lost a couple hundred followers with that last post, and probably pissed off a thousand more. That’s fine with me. I’m glad they’re gone.

This isn’t something I do because I disagree with a particular point of view. It’s something I do because every once in a while, it’s good to clear the echo chamber of all the whiners. It becomes so much easier to hear the relevant conversations when they’re not around.

INSTANT. FUCKING. FOLLOW.

See also my own, more verbose, version of this same thing.

  • Post reblogged from dearcoquette with 625 notes

This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay

UPDATE to "Why attacking Predator Alert Tools backfire on attackers" - Do you know a sexual assault lawyer?

Yesterday, I published “Why attacking Predator Alert Tools backfire on attackers.” The gist (short, worth reading) is at this link.

Today, an important update:

On July 20th, 2014 at 3:53 AM Pacific time, a renewed attack of the exact same type described above resumed. Once again, CarolyneTiler, whose legal name is Caroline Tyler and who currently works for EMIS, a medical software company, as an “IT Systems Support Consultant” in the United Kingdom according to her LinkedIn profile (public version), admitted to doing this on FetLife:

Screenshot of CarolyneTiler's comments in a FetLife status thread reading: "I have done NOTHING more than use the public access available to all. I consider that this so called reporting tool is mainly used to harass and abuse other members of this site by those too cowardly to publicly state their issues."

Screenshot of CarolyneTiler’s comments in a FetLife status thread reading: “I have done NOTHING more than use the public access available to all. I consider that this so called reporting tool is mainly used to harass and abuse other members of this site by those too cowardly to publicly state their issues.”

As of this writing, I’ve temporarily disabled the Predator Alert Tool for FetLife’s Google form submission while I compose complaint letters to Caroline’s employer and Internet Service Provider. I am also looking for pro-bono legal representation from attorneys who have a record supporting sexual assault survivor’s rights. Please contact me directly if you know or can refer me to any such legal professionals.

I’ll re-enable the PAT-FetLife reporting mechanism after I’ve finished getting in touch with Caroline Tyler’s employer, etc., and I’ll post another update once I’ve done that. If I can get in touch with a lawyer, I’ll also do my best to contact England’s law enforcement agencies that oversee Internet crimes, so ideally this lawyer would also be at least familiar with “hacking” cases.

Thank you.

Please reblog/retweet/share widely.

Thanks so much for your help!


This blog is my job. If it moves you, please help me keep doing this Work by sharing some of your food, shelter, or money. Thank you!

PayPal
Donate Bitcoin
One-Time Donation via Fundly/WePay